GROWTH WITHIN

APRIL 2025

Some of you, 

(those who have looked at “ewes” previously),

understand that when I write personally, 

I write in italics -

And that colors are significant for me.

The color “green” represents the new life God is granting me

as I am gaining tremendous healing in the journey through trauma, pain - into sweetness.  

When I insert scripture, or others’ input, I do straight text in black, or another color.

NOW! MARCH 2025

💪

I am thinking of the potential of becoming a “golden” vessel out of whom can pour living waters - or oil and wine –

as the Samaritan did for the one

who was left to die

by the Levite and the priest,

(recorded in Luke 10).

I am sending this “blog” with 

 excerpts from the psychotherapist, Alex Howard, 

because he has been such a “vehicle’

for my own healing journey.

I have found this excerpt from him below in black

 a “treasure” of counsel as

he has been a vessel being used

 in my own journey of healing.

“MY STORY” CONTINUED

APRIL 2025

At 3 years of age, 

my yet undeveloped little “psyche’ believed 

it was her, “Little Cricket’s”,

 responsibility to bear her dad’s 

emotional pain/ fear of abandonment.

( placed in a boarding house 

At eleven years of age 

when his parents divorced.)

AND

The grief in the burden of the physical pain 

caused by a form of rheumatoid arthritis

named  ankylosing spondylitis.

I felt “separated” physically from my dad

from the time, as a young girl,

(small enough to sit on Daddy’s lap), 

I overheard Daddy telling Mom, 

he “loved having me sit on his lap - 

but the pain almost killed him,”

 I never sat on his lap again.

I’m sure he wondered the “WHY’

And it created a huge chasm between us 

which  never was healed.

The arthritic condition then forced the retirement from the Navy at 35 years of age… REJECTED yet AGAIN.

Another extreme “blow”

 which meant the loss of identity

of the man he planned to be..

(My sister and I have been spared that heritage of the arthritis.)

My “health issues?” Anxiety/Insomnia.

Oh, and a bout with uterine cancer 32 years ago

which surgery took care of, and no return.

I believe they are the result of my own traumas:

(Please refer to “MY STORY” in the main body of ewestogether.com)

But now I also am getting free from the prison of bearing

others’ emotional needs,

i.e. Absorbing EVERYONE’S emotions as my own,

AND taking care of everyone else’s needs 

before my own…

The following through Alex Howard 

resonates wonderfully in me!

I hope those of you who have read this far

 find it comforting and strengthening as well.

I am sending it to be a resource for joining me, as I long for all who love and support us to be granted insight into where we victims of sexual abuse, whether children or adults, come from:

Excerpts from: Alex Howard Worksheet Information, 

March 24, 2025:

“EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL”

As a child, you have few options to deal with unpleasant events. You cannot physically get up and leave your home if your parents are emotionally abusing or neglecting you. So a child that experiences trauma can often grow up to develop an external locus of control. An external locus of control is linked to feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness and overwhelm  

We can guarantee growth, not the outcome. 

A problem many of us face when pursuing a goal is focusing more on the outcome than the journey. By actively focusing on the outcome, we tie our happiness and self-worth to something we cannot control. But joy comes from growth, not the outcome. So we need to unhook our self-esteem and self worth from what we do and achieve. A better approach that can increase your chances of achieving any desired long-term outcome is moving your attention to the behaviours and habits you need to develop and the actions you need to take to get you there. 

...sometimes  these thoughts and ideas don’t serve us. So take some time to inquire and reflect on where you feel out of balance and where more of your time and energy needs to go.  

With love and care, Claudia T