THE JOURNEY TO HEALING

Therapy guides the victim to understand we are not to blame for the violation.  

 

There is hope for healing our emotions.

The therapist helps us look realistically at our emotions toward ourselves.

 

As we learn we can express our anger, hatred, resentment, vengeance - and are not criticized or rejected - we learn to be gentle with ourselves. We then can be gentler with others.

 

A good therapist listens and asks questions until we understand what our true goals are. 

They will be direct and honest when we are detouring from healthy perspectives.

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 We often try to help others by transferring our emotions onto them as a method of trying to take care of our woundedness. It’s fine to help others if we are honest with ourselves that we are not doing it to heal ourselves. We then can do both - help others while we continue our healing journey.

 

Navigating the Pain

 

In the journey to healing, a person must feel the pain to heal the pain. 

 

Navigating the pain means sleepless nights.   

Layers of healing and letting go will be accomplished.

 

It gets better - and then we can handle worse again for a season.  

The outcome is we grow further.

 

Expressing it can give immediate release.   It can take years.

 And it can take a lifetime.

 

Gold Nuggets of Healing

 

The gold nuggets from God even in the darkness of our hell keep us from thoughts of committing suicide.

 

There’s a fine line between not wanting to continue to live, like Elijah, and committing suicide.

 

 Others often recoil from our reality due to the fear brought on by the denial and avoidance of the subject;

the inability to face the betrayal of their illusions of safety and innocence.

 

Layer by layer the exchange is made,

 

Torment becomes sweetness;

Hopelessness, helplessness become faith, trust;

Resentment, bitterness are replaced by forgiveness and rest in God; 

Shaming, blaming, rejection; shunning, isolation; aloneness; loneliness become

calm, contentment, confidence at last.    
 

In spite of all “evidence to the contrary”, we begin to heal.

 

We prove healing can, and does, come, layer by layer through the years.

 

We come to accept that all the layers of the journey will not be completed until we close our eyes in death.

 

Gold Nuggets of Acceptance

 

People may react to our behaviors, tell us,

think of us, label us, “hysterical women”; “angry”; resentful; 

And someone who’s never been violated may order us, “Be careful not to get bitter.”

 

We accept there will be times when we look or act like a goat, but we are really a sheep.

We may look or act like a goat  - but we are a sheep.

 

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We won’t always look like anyone else.

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We don’t look at things the same as others due to our violation.

Our perspective is different from others. 

 

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Continuing On

 

As difficult as it is to know reality, it takes a lifetime to heal, a lifetime accompanied by pain, despair, purpose, usefulness, hope, comfort, love - direction - in spite of storms.

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 Inside, a tremendous change has transpired.   

Confidence, communication, established boundaries.

 

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“You just try it.”

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There’s no going back.

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Comfort and Hope

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At 80 years of age, I find myself with more clarity, confidence, calmness, comfort, and contentment than ever.

It has not been a soft, easy road - or what I dreamed would produce those identifying marks.  After 54 years of anguished journey I am enjoying “honey out of the carcase of the lion” [Judges 14:8].  Due to the help of professionals, the encompassing love of open, honest friends, and an environment safe from criticism and attack, I feel more liberated every day.