LOVE THAT HEALS  (2)

 

1969-1989

The Silenced Years

 

Although my beloved 3rd companion, Laura, delivered me from Bob’s physical clutches by phoning Bob to tell him if he did not get me out of Alaska, his testimony would become affected, control continued.  

 

Laura made the call during a “kitchen project” in August of 1989.  Bob had gotten permission for me to be at the project as the lone sister worker cooking for the crew for the duration of the summer project.  

 

Even though Laura’s intercession delivered my body from Bob’s access, the imprisonment under the power of Bob’s control over my spiritual and emotional life continued.

 

It was common that Bob would attend a convention in Washington State where, without words, his control over my being, (although no sexual touching), and psyche continued.

 

Sometimes when I share my story, or someone learns of “My Story”, I am asked, “Why didn’t you leave?”

 

Life is never simple.

 

I “own” that one portion of the answer is that I, literally, had nowhere to “go.”

 

Words have never been adequate to describe that someone without family in meetings literally has nowhere to “go.”

 

I would not assume care through God’s people if I “left the work.”

 

I had chosen to cancel my R.N. license as an expression of a lifelong commitment to God’s calling; and to have “no options” for “opting out.”

 

I knew I would be blamed if anyone were to know of the experience with Bob.

In fact, I overheard Tharold telling an older sister that he “had heard ‘things’ about this one…as he nodded his head toward me.

 

At another point in time, 5 sisters in their 50’s were removed from the work without support.  

I was told, “I thought I’d put the fear in ya’.”

Indeed.

I had the black cloud of sexual violation surround me as though living Edgar Alan Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum” 

 

I wonder if in eternity we’ll get to ask our Father how He kept us under impossible circumstances?

 

Oh, the fear, the fear of “being found out.”

 

Silence/silence/silenced…

 

Yet God gave me an “oversee” who liked me.

He was a man who could be fearful.   

I did not fear because he was mild compared to my own father.

I was liked by him even because I did not fear him.

 

Sister workers would say to me during opportunities to visit scripturally, “You ask him.  You’re not afraid of him.”

 

I was granted the gift of multiple coworkers, truly, “companions” as shepherds and yokefellows.

 

Added to this was innumerable welcoming, loving homes,

Families where I am welcomed by the 2nd/3rd generations to the present day.

 

We learned that laboring together for souls even when personalities clash can deepen our love for souls and be positive learning experiences.

 

Without telephone access, we were “there,” with our companions 

where we were assigned.

  

Leave our assigned location?.   

There were no opportunities.  

Independence was not an option.

 

  We made no “personal” phone calls..

Calls were “monitored” within the homes by our friends.  

Phones were in a public location, 

in the living room or kitchen.  

Some sisters kept coins in order to make calls from phone booths...

 

There were additional “special” gifts:

In 1980 I got to have a trip to Barbados to stay two months 

with my father’s sister in Barbados…

 

I got to know homes and workers.

 

In addition there was the roaring social life kept by my 75 year old aunt.

 

We had visits nearly every day.  I got to meet about 70 of her friends!